Lucy Dacus expresses the depth of queer love at The Stone Pony

Forever Is a Feeling, Lucy Dacus’s fourth studio album, was released in 2025. Her tour following its release concluded at the end of July. I was lucky enough to make it to the final show at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park.

Like many, I was introduced to Dacus through her most popular track, “Night Shift,” which captures the scorn of being so deeply wounded that you’d restructure your life. “I’ll never see you again, if I can help it,” she sings. Beneath the ire, Dacus sounds exhausted. Despite being free of this person, she’ll still take the night shift because of them. The lyrics convey the hope that one day her songs will sound like covers, dedicated to new lovers.

Her work with Phoebe Bridgers and Julien Baker on American indie rock group boygenuis’s first project in 2023, the record, pushed me to dive deeper into her discography. After finally giving the rest of her album Historian, a listen, “Timefighter” is a particular favorite of mine, as well as “Addictions,” which made it into that night’s setlist.

Dacus confirmed her relationship with Baker two years ago after much speculation by fans. However, Dacus has never hidden her sexuality, calling herself “kind of queer” in 2016. We certainly showed up in the crowd. For once, my partner and I were not the only lesbians displaying somewhat ridiculous amounts of affection publicly.

The first song in Dacus’s set list was “Hot & Heavy” off of her album Home Video. The track describes a relationship that was one-sided in its magnetism, someone who managed to bring a flush to the narrator’s cheeks despite how much time had passed. “How did I believe I had a hold on you?” she asks herself, reflecting on how foolish it was to assume that she would be the one to contain the “firecracker” and to tame the flame who could not be tamed.

“These days I think I’m either bisexual or pansexual, but the fact that I’m queer and it’s none of your business still applies.”

“Hot & Heavy” is followed up by “First Time,” another track from Home Video, about a relationship that is falling apart despite Dacus’s desperate efforts to preserve what they had. “Catch my breath to breathe your name, I’m just the fool you took me for.” The language she uses for herself in this track is demeaning: “crawling through the dog door” or a “starfish on the kitchen floor.” The lyrics evoke a lack of self-preservation and dignity in the face of abandonment. She makes herself smaller, hoping they can find a way to fit her into their life. She ends the track with, “I’ll stay ready for you to take me.”

“Ankles” is the first song off of Forever Is a Feeling that Dacus performed. It’s a celebration of both the quieter parts of love that can’t be driven out and a reclamation of homoeroticism. Dacus allows for her lover to finally act on their shared desires; it’s erotic, but not explicit. Some lyrics are about submitting: “so bite me on the shoulder, pull my hair” and “pull me by the ankles to the edge of the bed” — but lust isn’t all there is to this relationship. Sexual intimacy in “Ankles” isn’t degrading as it was in “First Time” because she wants to be dragged, bitten and pulled. It’s not described with animalistic metaphors or as an act of desperation. Rather than waiting to be taken, Dacus is asking to be taken.

Desire has often been levied against us, weaponized by forces seeking to boil homosexuality down to debauchery. Dacus rejects this concept. She describes the morning after as one full of crosswords and cups of tea. Queer love can be hot and sexy, as well as soft and domestic.

It was so refreshing to experience a collective joyful experience. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community in the U.S right now is incredibly draining. There are new headlines nearly every day about a proposed form of legislation that discriminates against us. Creating and participating in queer art is an act of reclamation and rebellion. Remember that they can’t take that from us.

Dacus is one of the artists who have partnered with The Ally Coalition on their recent tours to donate $1 per each ticket sold. As for her own queerness, Dacus seemed to be hesitant to go with any labels other than “queer.” She published an essay in the Oprah Daily in 2021 on her “coming out.” 

The final paragraph reads: “These days I think I’m either bisexual or pansexual, but the fact that I’m queer and it’s none of your business still applies. I want to end this by saying that it is no one’s responsibility to come out. We should not demand that of each other. I do think being true to yourself is a huge relief, and living shamelessly is a supreme delight, but everyone is the god of their own life. I don’t think time heals all wounds, but I do think it can be trusted. Never is an option. Now is also an option. Trust your timing.”

Though I agree that we shouldn’t impose labels on one another, I disagree that labeling oneself as queer, gay, lesbian or bisexual is a purely individualistic choice. Our identities are sadly politicized. I wish they weren’t. That world doesn’t exist yet, but I think Dacus is one of the people who is helping us get there. I felt it when I screamed the lyrics to “Night Shift” in the crowd of people who proudly raised their hands when Dacus asked us if we’re gay.

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