If you ask me, the summer flew by, and with the transition to fall and my change from drinking iced coffee in the mornings to sipping pumpkin spice lattes, I think of the upcoming holidays.
What comes to mind first is National Coming Out Day on Oct. 11. Coming out can be scary. It was for me. My mother barely spoke to me for six years. I told her I met a great guy at Jersey Pride in Asbury Park back in 2006, and she told me he was not welcome in her home.
After a while, however, she agreed to meet Mike. And as she got to know him as a human being over time, she apologized and came to love him as another son. That’s how she refers to him now — her other son. My father, not long before he died, told me I taught him something. He grew up in coal country in eastern Pennsylvania and knew nothing about gay people except what he learned from his church and the broader straight society.
Many years ago, Mike and I brought my parents to Provincetown, with its clamoring piano bars, pulsating clubs, drag shows and show tunes belted out like anthems. My parents had a wonderful time. My mom even ended up sassing back drag queens along Commercial Street. That’s a good memory.
People can change, and some do as they’re presented with new information. Some don’t like people like us, perhaps I suppose, because we fly in the face of their established worldview. Some don’t like to have their ideas challenged. Well, that’s too bad. It’s also unfortunate because living life with such rigidity can cause you to miss out on meeting some great people.
Regardless, though, of what people think of you, validation needs to come from yourself, not from others. Yes, coming out can be scary, but it can also be incredibly liberating and serve as a foundation for building self-confidence.
The latest issue is packed with stories from and about New Jersey LGBTQ+ folks who are living authentically and doing their best to contribute their gifts and talents. I hope you enjoy it.
PDF download is available here.
