Creep of the Week: Tony Perkins part 2

Tony Perking sitting in a chair
"Tony Perkins" by Gage Skidmore is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit

Tony Perkins says he is being hit over the head with LGBT Pride

Onslaught is the name of a thrash metal band from the U.K. Rainbow is the name of a hard rock band once fronted by metal legend Ronnie James Dio. Rainbow Onslaught is, sadly, not a metal band, but I would definitely pay to see them and buy all the merch. Someone, please form this band and make the gayest and heaviest metal on earth.

Rainbow Onslaught is what Family Research Council President Tony Perkins calls Pride Month. On his most recent episode of “Eat, Pray, Hate,” he provides tips and tricks for making it through this hell prism.

“You can’t turn on the television, shop for cereal, or scroll through Facebook without being hit over the head with LGBT pride,” Perkins says. “Thanks to ‘woke’ corporate America and the most radical administration in history, there’s no escaping the left’s forced sexual revolution.”

He laments that we’ve somehow gone from “‘live and let live’ to’ affirm or be punished.'”

And I’m gonna have to stop him right there. At NO POINT in the history of the United States, has there ever been a widely accepted “live and let live” attitude toward LGBTQ people. It’s been more akin to “live and let die.”

President Reagan’s handling of the AIDS epidemic is a case in point. We still see rampant discrimination and violence against transgender people. Black trans women are murdered at an alarmingly high rate.

Not to mention the fact that it’s LGBTQ people who are being punished, not Christians. It’s punishment for being trans to have your state legislature pass a bill to make it impossible for you to play school sports or use the restroom.

It was punishment for being queer that was behind the attempt to amend the United States Constitution to prevent marriage equality during the President George W. Bush era. It was punishment for being queer that led to the Stonewall Riots. It was punishment for being queer and the rejection of that punishment that led to the very idea of Pride.

“The world is upside down when American pride is something we should apologize for, but sexual perversion is the stuff of parades,” Perkins says. I’m not sure what he means by “America pride,” though Perkins has made his support of Donald Trump loud and clear, saying that Trump was basically a gift from God.

Puke emoji. ?

“Pride is the new religion, and everyone must bow a knee to their sexual gods or face the left’s fiery furnace,” Perkins claims.

Clearly, Perkins has watched Lil Nas X’s “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” video.

“I know what’s happening in society today is upsetting and difficult to swallow,” he says, referring to people choosing love over hate and daring to celebrate their lives. “As Christians, we celebrate the colors of the rainbow, not as a symbol of pride but of a reminder of God’s mercy in response to man’s self-destructive pride,” he says.

This is the part where I point out that there are a lot of LGBTQ Christians. A thing that Perkins conveniently ignores. Also, staying closeted is self-destructive. I know from personal experience. Living your authentic self and not being ashamed of it is the opposite of self-destruction.

Some horny Christian teens say anal doesn’t count as losing your virginity

“We need to understand that loving our neighbor doesn’t mean staying silent while they walk down a path of destruction,” Perkins continues. “It means loving them enough to sometimes tell them the truth. It means telling them there is beauty in God’s design and hope for every human being who is born with a sinful nature.”

It is W-I-L-D to me that right-wing Christians like Perkins have turned “beauty in God’s design” into a euphemism for penises and vaginas. These are the same folks who are so against sex ed that they’ve made “abstinence-only” education a thing. A thing that’s made more than a few horny Christian teens decide that anal doesn’t count as losing your virginity.

“Just a few decades ago, these activists said all they wanted was recognition, autonomy, coexistence,” Perkins continues. “Now, a handful of years after Obergefell, it’s not enough to leave them alone with their choices; they demand validation, affirmation, celebration.”

Again, I cannot stress enough, LGBTQ people have never been “left alone” in this country. And it’s guys like Perkins who still can’t leave us alone.

You’re damn right. I demand validation every time I use the term “wife” because I am legally married.

I demand affirmation when my son tells his teachers that he has two moms.

And yes, I demand celebration because I love cake.

Seriously, though. My family is something to celebrate. Love is something to celebrate. And if you’re making me a cake, please make it vegan.

“Tony Perkins” image by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0