Creep of the Week: Lauren Boebert

It’s been a long time since I thought about Lauren Boebert. I think the last time she was on my radar was when she was giving Beetlejuice handies to some guy and then crying that she was acting out while going through a divorce and “simply fell short” of the values she’s happy to legislate for everybody else.

But now she’s on my radar for adamantly not being “a lesbian or bisexual.”

Or so she claimed in a statement “refuting a complaint filed with the House Committee on Ethics on Sept. 17, which alleged that the Colorado congresswoman had sexual relationships with three staffers she supervised, including two women,” according to The Advocate.

Look, I don’t care who Boebert has relationships with so long as those relationships are with consenting adults and are not conducted at a public performance of “a remarkably touching show about family, love, and making the most of every Day-O!” based on a beloved Tim Burton movie.

Boebert reportedly told one news outlet, “Well, I’m not a lesbian or bisexual, and I have never, ever been in any inappropriate relationship, nor have I ever been sexually involved with any staff.”

Granted, her extensive anti-LGBTQ+ record in Congress would make any relationships with women a bit hypocritical.

Boebert “has staunchly advocated against LGBTQ+ rights,” reported The Advocate. “She opposes the Equality Act, which would formalize federal discrimination protections for LGBTQ+ people, and has co-sponsored legislation aimed at restricting healthcare for transgender youth. Her official website includes an extensive ‘family values’ section, in which she writes, ‘I oppose efforts to redefine marriage as anything other than the union of one man and one woman.'”

It’s nothing new. Conservatives are very fond of the whole “do as I say, not as I do” thing.

The complaint against Boebert was filed by David Wheeler of the political action committee American Muckrakers. It seems that the heart of the complaint is the alleged $200,000 hush money payment made to Clarice Navarro, her former district director, to keep the whole thing under wraps. Navarro also denies the allegations.

“Congresswoman Lauren Boebert rejects these allegations as utterly false, and there is no truth to them whatsoever,” a representative for Boebert wrote in a statement. “This is nothing more than a politically motivated stunt designed to manipulate the ethics process, create headlines, smear her, and generate clickbait.”

And that may well end up being the case. But Boebert’s entire political career has been a politically motivated stunt designed to manipulate, create headlines, smear others, and generate clickbait. Like the time she and Marjorie Taylor Greene acted like total assholes during President Joe Biden’s 2022 State of the Union address, or when Boebert offered guided tours of the Capitol to the Jan. 6 insurrectionists, or when she said, “Go to church, find Jesus,” after Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) and Rep. Tony Gonzales (R-Texas) were accused of sexual misconduct, before adding, “Like, I mean, why is everybody so horny here?”

I don’t know, Lauren. Maybe it has something to do with the combination of lots of power and not a lot of consequences enjoyed by America’s Ruling Class?

Anyway, Boebert really seems to like attention. And she’s getting a lot of it with this new accusation.

Responding to the ethics complaint in a video posted to X, Boebert said, “This is more filthy garbage that reaches beyond me. This reaches into the homes of people who have dedicated years of service to Coloradans alongside of me. I know that you’re more than willing to attack me and shame my household, but this is different, and you crossed a line. I hope you think about the impact that this could have on them and their families.”

If these accusations are false, then Boebert has a good point. This isn’t a great time for the staff members in question (at least I haven’t seen any of them standing up and declaring that they are/were horny for Boebert).

But it’s pretty rich for someone with a record like Boebert’s to say, “I hope you think about the impact that this could have on them and their families.”

Did she think of the impact it would have on families with trans kids when she said “transgenderism” [sic] is “a mental disorder” and “a freaking joke”? Or when she claimed that “they” are “castrating our children and destroying them?” Or when she tried to amend the National Defense Authorization Act to ban trans people from serving in the military? Or when she voted against bills to reopen the government, saying they included “funding woke facilities that provide late-term abortions and child transgender surgeries?”

I suspect Boebert only ever thinks about herself. As the saying goes: Never trust the grifting.