Multi-award-winning South African-New Zealander Urzila Carlson has become one of the biggest names in comedy in Australia and New Zealand. Over the past five years Urzila has garnered a hit Netflix special Urzila Carlson: Overqualified Loser, become a bestselling author, competed on Taskmaster New Zeland, was a guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under, and joined the panel of The Masked Singer Australia. Now, Urzila is making a name for herself internationally, especially in the United States. Currently embarking on an international tour, set to hit North America in May 2025, Urzila sat down with me for an in-depth conversation. From growing up poor in the projects of South Africa to coming out as lesbian to establishing a family, no topic went untouched.
Where did you grow up, and moreover, how did you manage to make the move from South Africa to New Zealand, then later from the corporate world to comedy?
Urzila Carlson: I grew up in Benoni, Transvaal, South Africa. In Hebrew, Benoni means “the son of my sorrows,” which truly describes the whole place. It is a bit of a shithole. But, if you are from there, you are proud. My family and I grew up really poor. I started doing drama in high school because I did not like my stepfather and wanted to preoccupy myself outside of the home. I started writing scenes for all of the plays, I received a scholarship to study at the academy of drama and art, yet I was not interested in it. After I left school I began working in advertising, which is why I eventually moved to New Zealand. Then one of my colleagues pushed me toward stand-up because everyone found me funny on the job, so much so he made me promise in front of everyone I would go to an open mic night. I winged it, won the first night without realizing it was a competition, and was invited back. After performing four gigs of my own I won best newcomer in New Zealand. From there on comedy took on a life of its own. Doors opened, from scriptwriting to radio ads to television appearances.
You have appeared on nearly every panel show in Australia, New Zealand, and the U.K. How did that come about?
UC: Before I knew it I became the go-to girl for all the panel shows. I have been on everything from the U.K.’s Would I Lie to You? and QI to Australia’s The Masked Singer and RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under. Panel shows are much easier to do than standup because you have other personalities to play off of, which is why I enjoy it so much.
Your background is so interesting because you grew up with the odds stacked against you. Now you just announced this tour. How does it feel to cross over into all of these new markets?
UC: This is literally the dream. When I started making comedy a career, I just wanted stage time. Once I got settled in New Zealand and started doing well, I decided to target Australia. I became the No. 1 selling comic in New Zealand and Australia. Then, I hit the U.K., and once that was successful, hit Canada, and now I am coming for America. I am looking forward to it. I have been to many American cities already because I lived in Texas at one point. In my mind, if I can do comedy in the States, I feel like I have unlocked a door and could do it anywhere.
I understand you are an out lesbian with a family.
UC: I am a divorced lesbian! We wanted marriage equality, now we are like “take it back.” We don’t know how good we had it! We could just wake up and still be friends. Now, we have to fight it all out in courts, and it takes longer to get the friendship back. I even said to my ex if we did not follow the straights, we would not have all this drama. They said we pushed for it; I think straight people also pushed for it just to fuck up our days [laughs].
At least you got children out of it! When did you meet your ex, how did you establish a family, and do you get along now?
UC: My daughter is ten, my son is seven, and I met my ex-wife at my second gig! A mutual friend introduced us. It was nice because we did the whole climbing of the career together. It was good because we were able to travel a lot together. We quickly realized she could not work if she were to come with me and keep up with my schedule. After a while we decided to have a family, and caretaking became her job. Of course, we get along now, because we are lesbians. I mean, have you ever met a lesbian who is not friends with her ex?
I feel like lesbians know how to handle the breakup and/or divorce process much better than gay men.
UC: Oh yeah! We stay friends because I think as women we realize we already put so much work into this person, then put so much work into raising our children, and sometimes we even try to find future partners for the other. At least in my case I want someone I trust around my kids.
What is next for you? Would you want to take over the panel shows in the United States or take over the film industry?
UC: I would love to make a movie. I just starred as the voice of Honkus in the animated movie Ozi: Voice of the Forest. I really enjoyed the process. It was also another project I never expected to receive when I embarked on making stand-up a career. At the time I got the call I was filming Taskmaster and the night before my audition I broke my collarbone on the show while simultaneously receiving a massive concussion. I was taking really strong pain meds and English is not my first language to begin with. Nevertheless, they knew what my voice sounded like, watched me on YouTube, and still offered me the contract without an official audition. It was such an amazing experience. Now, I am ready to embark on more films.
Having worked in radio before making the transition to podcasting, I always wanted to get into voiceovers because you get to genuinely focus on embodying the character without worrying about your appearance. Did you enjoy the experience?
UC: You literally summed up why it is the best experience. At the time I was in Sydney filming The Masked Singer. I would do the voiceover work during the day and film the show during the evening. They do film you in the booth; however, it is simply to get your facial expressions correct for the character. So after a few days you get comfortable going into the studio, looking like shit, and just focusing on the character. It is a unique experience and I definitely want to do more of it. Is there a better job in the world you can do in your pajamas?
Who would you love to work with in the acting industry?
UC: I would love to work with anyone who starred in Bridesmaids. I would love to do a movie with Kathy Bates because she is one of those actresses who is so phenomenal yet does not receive the fanfare she deserves. Nothing she does is average.
Time to get personal: How old were you when you came out and what reaction did you receive?
UC: I was 26, which I think is kind of long in the tooth these days, because everyone comes out much earlier.
“I could never get into dick. Anything that spits at you is, quite frankly, rude. “
I feel like it only happened over the past five to ten years max. I feel prior to marriage equality, everyone came out so much later in life. In the United States the social acceptance, specifically among millennials and Gen Z, still feels very new and fresh for most.
UC: I could never get into dick. Anything that spits at you is, quite frankly, rude. To be fair, my family is so gay-friendly it is almost embarrassing. I think I told my brother first. We were at a theme park in Johannesburg, South Africa. We were sitting across from each other having a beer, a girl walked past, and he looked over my shoulder saying she was hot, I did the same, and he said, “Oh, I get it.” Then my mother told me the doctor she was working for had a son who called him that day to come out. She said if she ever received a call like this from one of her kids she would be happy. At the time I was the only one not married or dating anyone. The next day I called her to tell her and before I could finish she yelled, “Why haven’t you told me ages ago?” She said she always knew it.
My dad was disappointed initially and my mother was overprotective. Yet, four years later my brother came out, and they rolled out the red carpet offering to fly up a guy he was talking to in Florida to stay with us before they met! Then my cousin came out. I started a trend .
UC: Your family is a gay factory! Your parents should be apologizing to you that you don’t have a wife and children. I hope every now and then you punch your brother. He got off easy. I know a famous chef who is one of six siblings and all six of them are gay. I know a famous singer, twin sisters and a brother, all of them are gay too.
Do you think it is hereditary?
UC: I think so! Once you come out, get the sexual mindset over with, and just start living your life… you start reviewing family members and friends… and start questioning everyone. You pick up all the closet cases. My grandmother was so defensive of me after I came out, I later came to pick up that she was gay and most likely in the closet, and my mother knew, which is why she was so cool with it.
“have you ever noticed before someone comes out they are the biggest homophobes?”
Bullying for sexual orientation is still a problem but prior to marriage equality it was worse. I was mocked for being gay before I was out, and the high school I went to was in the hood, so I had to learn how to defend myself. Given that you grew up in the hood, did you deal with the same?
UC: I was in the closet for so many years. I listened to so many people talk about faggots and dykes. It is impossible to offend me now. However, my tolerance has become very fucking low, especially for bigots. Also, have you ever noticed before someone comes out they are the biggest homophobes? And it is always someone gayer than you too yet doesn’t realize it. I had an instance with my assistant’s cousin, who now is a mega-lesbian, yet prior to that was so homophobic I had to check her. After my 16-year-old niece came out this woman kept parroting how “you don’t know your sexuality at that age” and every other word out of her mouth at the time was faggot and bulldyke. One day I said, “I need you to shut your mouth because one day you are going to come out of the closet and you are going to need us. I do not mind if you are in a crossroads, but get your fucking foot off of us.” A couple months later she came out, called me, and I told her to never fucking call me again.
You called it! I had a similar experience with an engaged closet case who befriended me at my gym, worked out with me, flirted with me all the time, then one day flipped because I invited him out for drinks. I am counting the days til I see him on Grindr. Will we hear more about your crazy life on this tour?
UC: [laughs] The tour is titled Just Jokes, and is just that, just jokes. Fuck the politics! Granted, stand-up is like fashion and has its trends. Still, I do not have a message. It is real, raw comedy. You are not going to leave the room crying. I am not going to be lecturing anyone. None of that shit! I am just making people laugh. I think a lot of stand-up comics today are trying to create a buzz by bringing the politics into it and it just doesn’t work anymore. We get the message, cunts! You do not like this or that. Globally, we have been through enough shit. I want this to be an escape for people, I do not want them trying to escape.
