The wicked Witch of Palisades

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Once upon a time, in a forest in the North called Interstate Palisades Park, there lived an evil witch who hated the beautiful faeries. He hated them (yes, the witch was a man, even though he wore a long black robe so no one could tell.) He hated them because they were cute and he was not – because they were happy and he was a sour, old, dried up, wrinkly, wart of a man with a persimmon for a heart, because they had style and he was frump and most of all, because the faeries had a lot, I mean a whole, great, heaping LOT of sex – whereas the witch hadn’t gotten off in thirty or forty years. Oh but the witch was a greedy, grasping, covetous old sinner, exactly as was written of Ebenezer Scrooge.