The best we can do is carry on

Out of The Broomcloset photo by Leon Calafiore
Out of The Broomcloset photo by Leon Calafiore

Out Of The Broomcloset

I’m going to go out on a bit of a limb here, writing this column in the waning hours of 2016. I will assume that we are all still here, and that “those people,” and “that man” have not yet had a chance to do anything too foolish, as of yet. Our country has gone through periods of terrible movements before; and here we are again.

Sometimes, the best we can do is to carry on as though nothing untoward has occurred. By this, I really mean that we present a deferential air while plotting how to obstruct them, distract them, and bog them down. Of course, I actively support being proactive in one’s local politics, but sometimes writing to more than one’s elected officials might have a greater chance of success.

The classical world provides a perfect augment to these meaningful efforts. I doubt that we will ever see democracy as it was practiced by the Athenians and Romans, where departing elected officials had to give an accounting of their actions, and if found lacking, were sent into exile; we just don’t do exile well anymore. What we can adapt to new circumstances is another technique of dealing with those in power whose actions demand a response that of curse tablets.

In the old days, these took the form of petitions or payers offered to various deities, bringing a matter to their attention, and leaving it in their capable hands. They would be scratched into the surface of soft lead tablets with a bronze stylus, which were then folded up, ritually consigned to the other worldly recipients, and placed in the ground, often at a gravesite or in some flowing body of water.

These instruments would usually start out with a preamble and address, often framed in legal sounding language; I, so and so, bring to the attention of the Gods of this place that so, and so have, acted against you by (insert action here). I hand them over to you, so that you may take action against them (and then one might suggest a course of action as a remedy). The perceived qualities of lead were often worked in the curse; as this lead is cold and useless (for example), so may (insert name here) be rendered inert and useless, incapable of action.

These sorts of notes were all the rage once upon a time, but the practice died out. I propose that, in making things great again, this call to an earlier time cries out for a revival of this technique, adapted to the modern age.

In this part of the United States, bronze stylus makers seem to be in short supply, and while lead sheeting is available at garden supply centers or from plumbers, I think that we can work with something else that has the same status in our world, that wonder of the modern age thanks to Alcoa; I present you, ladies and gentleman with aluminum foil. Aluminum was once the costliest of metals to produce (the dome of the U.S. Capitol being covered in aluminum leaf, for example, but modern production methods have changed all that. This being the case, it is the ideal medium for these times.

I would suggest that you compose your own particular request (you may want to get some friends together and make a party of it.) Being the helpful sort, let me lay out a template for you.

“I, so and so, child of (mother’s name here) bring to the attention of (Deity here; the traditional one’s were the gods of the underworld, as you like, but in this case calling upon abstract divinities such as Necessity, Justice or Fate may be the better choice), the actions of (insert name here, and write down what particulars you hope to be addressed).

As this aluminum is cheap/flashy/disposable, so may the actions of (insert name here) be perceived as such by all, and lead to (list desired outcome here). It is not the writer who has done these things, but (insert name here).”

When done venting, these may be folded into packets, consigned by being stapled shut (aluminum again), and deposited somewhere appropriate. I think near courthouses around the country is a sensible location, but do as you will. Or, you might consider sending them to: Current Occupant 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington D.C. 20500.

Leon Calafiore
Leon Calafiore

Leon Calafiore is a lifelong Wiccan and teacher of the occult arts. He is former Master of a New York Masonic Lodge known for the perfection of ritual. Leon conducts occult research and can be reached at: