“The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad” by R.A. Melos is true comic-book style

Plain cover of
Plain cover of "The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad"

POW, WAP, and ZOOM! The Adventures of Homosexual Man and Lesbian Lad pulls off a superpowered set of capers in true comic book serial style. Harry Manet is an even-tempered bookstore owner who rarely objects to being tied up. His partner in anti-crime is police librarian Lara Ladd, who never pulls a punch.

Toss in some cleaning fluid, cologne, a horny super-genius, and a couple of healthy jolts of electricity, and these two are transformed into Homosexual Man and Lesbian Ladd – the loud and proud heroes of Hub City, New Jersey.

The nemeses are as varied as a Valentine’s Day box of chocolates with two naked men on it. You have a lawyer whose lips are always wrapped around a clarinet, a radio personality with a hypnotic obsession against the gay community, a particularly strong wrestling bear and disco dancing cub, a well-aging sorcerer…and, of course, the weregerbil. Although the novel does not have two feet in reality, somehow it all gently coalesces.

My main complaint is that the tail doesn’t match the tail in the “Curse of the Weregerbil” chapters. It is pretty common knowledge that gerbils have mouselike tails, and hamsters have little stubs. This one has a petite appendage following behind.

Even more blatant, werehamsters are known for “scampering” and weregerbils have a reputation for “scurrying.” This section had more of a playful, ferret-esque feel that could only be pulled off by an animal that could fit four walnuts in her cheeks. Plus, werehamsters tend to be cuter. However, I make most of these statements without ever having encountered one of these storied creatures.

Maybe it is a trans-weregerbil? I wouldn’t put it past Melos to have a rodent born in the wrong body. When this becomes a sequel (it’s in the works), this angle should definitely be explored.

Purchase on Amazon.