When the U.S. Health and Human Services director declared loneliness a public health crisis, it hit me hard. I realized how socially undernourished I had become, not just from workaholism but also from withdrawing from the third spaces that once fueled my sense of vitality and sense of self.
Third spaces — those beyond home (first space) and work or school (second space) — are where people build community, shape identity, and co-create culture. For our queer community, these spaces are sacred, providing refuge from subjugation, resistance to oppressive forces, and joy in who we are and how we love. In my search for reconnection, I found Easton Mountain, a retreat center for gay, bi, queer and trans men. The idea of a space dedicated to self-discovery and community-building resonated deeply, and I felt a deep craving come alive inside me.
My first experience at Easton Mountain was transformative, leading me to get more involved. Today, I serve on the planning committee for Recovery Camp, a retreat for GBQT men in recovery. Over the past two years, this third space has helped me deepen relationships, combat loneliness, and evolve in my recovery journey.
The power of third spaces in queer communities
The “third space” is a sociological and post-colonial concept describing communal environments — like nightclubs, coffee shops, libraries, and parks — that strengthen civic, social, and relational health. These informal gathering places foster social cohesion and have long been the heartbeat of queer communities. From the nightclub dance floors, piers and parks, and programs and groups held in LGBT community centers, these spaces cultivate who we are and serve as sites of revolution and liberation.
Within these third spaces, essential concepts like chosen family, safe space, and liberation are born and solidified as foundational pillars of queer identity. These environments are more than just places to gather — they’re lifelines, especially for those who face isolation due to minority stress, trauma, and alienation.
The decline of physical third spaces since the pandemic threatens to deepen isolation within queer communities. As we navigate a post-pandemic world and a contemptuous political environment, it’s crucial to preserve and reimagine these spaces — not just as gathering spots but as vital sources of connection, identity, and joy.
Easton Mountain: A sanctuary for queer men
Easton Mountain exemplifies the power of third spaces, offering healing, connection, spirituality, and community. Founded in 2000 by compassionate gay men, this retreat center was created to uplift the queer community through programs that promote self-exploration and meaningful connection. Nestled in the scenic Taconic Mountain valley near Albany, New York, Easton Mountain has become a cherished sanctuary for queer men.
Peter M., a member of this year’s Recovery Camp steering committee, said, “Easton Mountain has been an essential part of my life as a queer and sober man. There is a gentleness in the land, and every time I come here, I’m reminded to take care of myself and my community.”
Recovery Camp, one of the many programs offed at Easton Mountain, provides a supportive space for healing, reflection, and connection for queer men in recovery. Through workshops, group discussions, and shared experiences, participants explore their sobriety and identity in a community that embraces authenticity and vulnerability. Many attendees describe Recovery Camp as a lifeline where they feel seen and understood.
In 2023, a committee of queer men in recovery, including myself, came together to create a space that fosters healing, spirituality, and authentic connection. From this vision, Recovery Camp was born. Andrew K., one of the original Easton Mountain members who organized 12-step recovery retreats, said, “This retreat endeavors to bring spirituality into our lives,” offering a sanctuary where gay and queer men can shed shame and embrace their true selves.
Workshops at Recovery Camp cover various topics, including relationships in recovery, mind-body connection, education on healthy intimacy, mental health education, and creativity and joy. Facilitators — peers, professional bodyworkers, clergy, and behavioral health professionals with lived recovery experiences — bring authenticity and wisdom to every session.
Outside workshops, social gatherings, cabarets, and outdoor activities foster healthy connections and community bonding. The change of scenery is also a substantial therapeutic factor in this space and allows participants to reconnect with themselves, nature, and others meaningfully.
“Places like Easton Mountain provide a setting for growth and change,” said Andrew K. “I needed a space where I could feel comfortable and uncomfortable, challenging myself to confront where I was at. I accessed my anger in a controlled and supportive environment. I still keep a piece of the shattered bat from one of those sessions as a reminder of the depths of my anger and healing.”
Peter M. said, “Easton Mountain has become essential in my life as a queer and sober man. From the moment I arrived, I knew it was different. There was no loud music or party atmosphere, only a sense of peace and reflection. It’s a space where queer men work on relationships, not just romantic ones but with all the men in their lives. I’ve learned to communicate my desires, set boundaries, and not let others’ responses define my worth.”
“I’ve witnessed incredible transformations,” said Andrew K. “Not just in attendees but within myself. Running the 4th step retreats and hearing how the weekend gave participants the foundation to change their lives was powerful. Recovery Camp showed me the impact of helping others on their journey.”
Peter M. found the transformation to be both subtle and profound. “People arrive guarded but leave open and connected. The workshops, especially those exploring the Wheel of Consent, help attendees like me navigate boundaries and intimacy in healthier ways, balancing vulnerability and strength.
“By holding space specifically for gay and queer men, Easton Mountain removes societal pressures and allows authentic existence. It offers experiences that reduce shame and foster genuine connection. Touch-based workshops, in particular, help participants understand the power of non-sexual touch, laying the foundation for real connection and breaking cycles of loneliness and addiction.”
“I hope these spaces continue to offer respite for gay men to be themselves without societal constraints,” said Andrew K. “Gay spaces are sacred and rare. Recovery Camp and Easton Mountain provide a sanctuary for understanding and connection — places where we can truly belong.”
Recovery Camp is more than just a retreat — it’s a lifeline, a community, and a third space that holds profound transformations for its participants. In a world that often marginalizes and isolates queer experiences and individuals, Recovery Camp and Easton Mountain stand as lighthouses, guiding people back to community, joy, and love — both within themselves and with others.
In preserving and expanding queer third spaces, we ensure that generations to come have the refuge, resistance, and joy they need to gather, thrive, and truly belong.
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