Walking the halls of his high school in Hawthorne, Derek Demeri knew he wasn’t like the other kids. “I faced a lot of challenges coming out in high school,” he said. While some teens at that time might have hid or tried to blend in to avoid conflict and confrontation, Demeri turned his struggle into action by founding the school’s gay-straight alliance.
It was at that time the internet was expanding, and we saw the news cycle ramp up to become the 24/7 whirlwind that it is today. California was debating Prop 8, a ballot measure that sought to define marriage as between one man and one woman. Voters narrowly passed it in 2008, but it was ultimately deemed unconstitutional. For Demeri, a millennial in the North Jersey suburbs, this fight for civil rights thousands of miles away was a catalyst that eventually inspired him to pursue a career in the law.
“I firmly believe that we all have the ability and should have equal access to flourish,” he said. “I believe in fighting for that world.”
As an attorney who specializes in labor law, advocating for the underrepresented and standing up to those in power in other ways isn’t exactly a stretch. That’s why Demeri was honored to be part of the team that founded Q Law NJ Inc., a bar association for queer people in the legal profession.
A bar association — for those of us whose knowledge of the field starts and ends at reruns of Ally McBeal — is essentially a group of lawyers that offers support and advocacy, among other functions. Q Law takes it a step further, by carving out a niche for people in the LGBTQ community who may not feel comfortable in spaces that aren’t welcoming or who want to meet others who “get it.” And it’s not just for lawyers, either. You can live out your Legally Blonde fantasy if you want. (What, like it’s hard?) But paralegals, other types of staffers with connections to the legal profession, and even law students are welcome.
At a recent gathering, members were able to openly discuss their careers and the frustrations they experience, getting feedback from people who speak that language and have similar experiences. Right now, there’s a mentorship program in the works, which will allow more-experienced attorneys and other workers to take newer folks under their wing.
I asked Demeri what his message is to prospective members. “Come on in, the water’s great,” he responded with a laugh.
The organization offers support and community to all. While it doesn’t take on cases per se, the leadership and members are prepared to advocate in cases impacting queer people in New Jersey, whether it be in the courts or in Trenton at the State House. “We are looking to build a legislative committee that can review pending bills in the New Jersey Legislature,” Demeri explained. “And then we can be a little more proactive in responding to both beneficial and harmful legislation.”
Q Law focuses on New Jersey, which is a reliably blue alcove for the most part. But Demeri isn’t losing sight of what’s happening on a federal level or the downstream effects.
We discussed the state of the U.S. Supreme Court and anti-queer legislation throughout the country. “What’s happening on the federal level, it’s been a little quieter, I would say, on the attacks against trans people, but it’s still there,” Demeri said. “It’s clearly not going away.” He praised Gov. Mikie Sherrill as someone “who is willing to stand up” for protections for our trans siblings. “Even if you’re not personally trans or a victim of this rhetoric, it’s our community. It’s our loved ones that are feeling this. And that still has a toll on you personally.
“The civil rights movement for Black Americans is a very long arc, and it goes up and down. I think we’re in that down phase, if you will, for our community,” Demeri continued. “But I do believe it will go up. And it’s not going to stay up forever. I think there will be ebbs and flows throughout history. But it’s up to us to build community, to fight back and advocate for the rights that we believe in.”
On the upward long arc of justice, he commented, “I bring it back to living in a world where social stigma, the du jour discrimination is just eliminated from society, where people can access the health care that they need to access, where they can access the housing that they need to access, the employment that they need to access, without fear that their sexual orientation or gender identity will somehow change what they can access. And we’re a long ways from there, but we are moving toward it.”
