Listen Mary advises Chalfont not to ever trust a politician

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Listen Mary Out In Jersey headerDear Mary:

I’m one of that small minority of guys who is attracted to really heavy men. I have to confess, Governor Christie is my fantasy of the perfect lover. Of course I know that the more vocal someone is about opposing gay equality, the more likely that person is to be a closet case so I’m wondering…. I mean, I know he’s married and all but … maybe… someday…. What do you think?

Chubby Chaser in Chalfont

Dear CC:

Honey, you are setting yourself up to be “the other woman.” Don’t go there. The man has ambitions. Do you think he’ll give up a run at the White House for you? Sure, he claims to have no presidential inclinations but that’s what they all say. He’ll sell you down the river just like he sold out the state workers. It’ll be wham, bam – bounce, bounce – and out the door, “what was your name? I’ll call you sometime.” Never trust a politician who wants to get you in the sack. That applies to political deals too. Senator Sweeny should have known better..

Dear Mary:

Ex Senator Cardinale promised that, if same-sex marriage became law, marrying one’s dog wouldn’t be far behind. Now that SS marriage is legal in New York, will that happen soon? Even though I’m a lesbian, I really love Fritz, my German Shepard. He is more than my best friend and I want our relationship to be celebrated before the whole world. After all, it wouldn’t be a same-sex relationship that upsets our governor so much.

Dog Lover in Dover

Dear Doggie Doter,

First, forget Cardinale’s promises. You can’t trust politicians, as I’ve said before. Anyway, he couldn’t fix a parking ticket now. Second, we all know how attached lesbians are to their dogs but stop and think – what about the children? How are you going to explain this to them? What about those family reunion Thanksgiving dinners? Can Fritz pass the gravy? Yes, he can curl up with the rest of the men-folks after dinner, drink beer and watch the game – and probably make as much intelligent conversation… well… OK… maybe that’s a bad example… but it still wouldn’t work. He’d carry the turkey off in his mouth, get it into a corner of the room and growl at everyone. Come to think of it, my Uncle Roy does that after a couple of martinis. Maybe it would work after all. I don’t know. I can’t keep up. Its all moving too fast for me.

Love, Mary

 

Listen Mary Out In Jersey headerDear Mary:

I’m one of that small minority of guys who is attracted to really heavy men. I have to confess, Governor Christie is my fantasy of the perfect lover. Of course I know that the more vocal someone is about opposing gay equality, the more likely that person is to be a closet case so I’m wondering…. I mean, I know he’s married and all but … maybe… someday…. What do you think?