Out Profile
A common phrase that sums up the general mission of law enforcement agencies is “to protect and serve.” Having served as a man in blue for almost three decades, that mission is one that John Hayes lives by, whether behind a badge or in his everyday life working with the citizens of Asbury Park.
Still, Hayes does a lot of work supporting the LGBTQ community from behind the scenes, not really seeking out accolades for all his accomplishments. He’d prefer to simply do the good work and remain low-key.
Oh, trust me — he’s not shy at all, and has a very energetic personality. But he’d rather not receive a lot of shout-outs for doing what comes naturally — helping others.
What are your duties as acting city manager of Asbury Park?
JOHN HAYES: My duties of acting city manager are to run the day-to-day operations of the entire city, which oversees over 20 departments and over 200 employees. Asbury Park has become an international destination with over a million visitors to our city each year. The city manager is the CEO and reports directly to the mayor and council, who are like the board of directors.
Asbury Park has one of the largest LGBTQ communities in New Jersey. Where and how do you see the city progressing for the community?
JH: Asbury Park, in my opinion, is the best place to live, work, and play for the LGBTQIA+ community. Asbury Park is a melting pot and even Bruce Springsteen himself, during the Sea.Hear.Now concert in 2024 on the beach in Asbury Park, applauded the community for bringing back Asbury Park to the thriving city it is today. Asbury Park is a town where everyone can be themselves and feel safe to love who they love and identify how they identify. And we are proud to score perfect on the Human Rights Campaign’s Municipal Equality Index.
As co-chair of New Jersey’s LGBTQ Law Enforcement Liaison program, what are the program’s major functions and responsibilities?
JH: The main function of this program is to build back a level of trust between law enforcement and our community. We do this through community outreach. Secondly, we strive to recruit and retain qualified members of our community to join the law enforcement profession, and to be part of the solution. Third, we are an internal support network for our community and our allies. And lastly is training. We have proudly trained all 35,000 police officers in New Jersey on how to be respectful to our community and give perspective through a “walk a day in our shoes” interactive workshop. We continue to teach new police recruits statewide as well.
How has the program benefited the LGBTQ community?
JH: I am proud to say that this program teaches law enforcement how to better interact with members of the community. It’s all about respectful communication and empathy.
How will (and has) the program advanced the rights of the community?
JH: We are stakeholders when it comes to creating and vetting policy in New Jersey. We work closely with the Attorney General’s office on policies, directives, etc. One example is Attorney General Directive 2019-3, “Law Enforcement Interactions with Transgender Individuals.” We are lucky to have such a progressive attorney general that values our community and our program.
Could you share your coming-out experience? Do you believe your experience could benefit those not yet out, through you sharing your experience? Is there anything you would have done differently when coming out?
JH: I came out to my family after a bad abusive relationship, when I became a domestic violence victim. I could not call the police for fears of them not understanding and this was 20 years ago, so it was a different time back then. I came out in 2008 on the job with the State Police — to say the least, a less than accepting organization back then. I am proud of who I am and what I was able to accomplish as the first openly gay male New Jersey State Trooper. I fought for change within the policing culture, established the New Jersey State Police’s diversity and inclusion unit, and have written lesson plans for instructing police on how to better interact with our community. I’m not saying it was easy, but it was well worth it to pave the way for others to be their true authentic self in the policing profession.
You’ve done work with Garden State Equality. What did you do with that organization?
JH: I have had the pleasure of working with Garden State Equality for the past decade — attending events, speaking at symposiums and conventions sharing our experiences. Our Law Enforcement Liaison program started under the umbrella of GSE, and we would not be where we are today without the great work that GSE continues to do.
Have you encountered any adversity throughout your work with different functions of the LGBTQ community?
JH: Being part of that community, I have encountered adversity almost daily, just like a majority of the members of our community. That’s why we are so resilient. Our past strengthens our future.
What would you like to accomplish in your current role as acting city manager?
JH: To continue to provide the best services to our residents and visitors. It’s important to the governing body that Asbury Park remains a safe environment for all.
Where did you grow up, and is the area very open to members of the community?
JH: I grew up in Atlantic and Cape May counties. Thirty years ago, it was not open at all to members of our community. That’s why Asbury Park is so special. I found Asbury Park and fell in love because it allowed me to be my true authentic self.
I know in New Jersey that Cliff and I are safe, but what if we are out of state and something happens?
What advice would you give to the community to come together and unify us, more than we already have? Do you think the progress we’ve made over the years in New Jersey has been progressive? What can we do to make certain that we don’t move backward?
JH: Strength in numbers. New Jersey is one of the most progressive states in the nation, so please get out and vote! Let our voices be heard. Support advocacy groups like Garden State Equality that fight for our rights on a daily basis. Also, support LGBTQIA+ businesses!
Now switching to the country as a whole, the current administration has already made moves to undermine members of the LGBTQ community. What can we, as a community, do to protect our rights and freedoms? You’ve been married to your husband, Cliff, for over a decade. Do you think the current administration will target marriage equality?
JH: Vote, attend council meetings, contact your local officials, the list goes on. This May, my husband and I are celebrating our 20-year anniversary and our 11th year being married. I think about our country going backward and it scares me.
I know in New Jersey that Cliff and I are safe, but what if we are out of state and something happens? What if I end up in the hospital and my husband can’t be by my bedside because another state reverses their protections based of the current administration? That’s why it’s more important now than ever to stand up strong, let our voices be heard, and be productive for our community.
