Ivanka’s invisible friends


Did you have an invisible friend when you were a little kid? There’s a lot to be said for an invisible friend; it never contradicts you, it’s always available when you need it, and never decides it “likes” someone else better than you. Ivanka Trump evidently has quite a few, and guess what? They are all LGBT.

A few hours after her father announced his catastrophic decision to pull out of the Paris accords, Ms. Trump tweeted her “joyful support” for all her friends in the LGBT community celebrating Pride Month. The only problem is that when pressed by a large-scale twitter response, she hasn’t been able to name one. We would never suggest that, like her father, Ms. Trump is a bubble headed liar who hasn’t a clue what she is talking about. Certainly not. Such a suggestion would never emanate from our pen. We must therefore assume that her gay friends are invisible.

Like all good invisible friends, they will of course forgive any little failings or shortcomings – such as when she campaigned for people like Mike Pence, who is among the most bigoted, homophobic politicians to crawl into the sunlight since the era of Joe McCarthy. No doubt the pressure of campaigning caused her to temporarily forget her invisible friends. That can so easily happen with people you can’t see – or perhaps she inherited her father’s inability to concentrate on more than one thing at a time, and then only if it is reduced to words of no more than two syllables, and not many of them.

Whatever the cause of her campaign oversight, Ivanka has re-discovered her many invisible gay friends who have no names. We are so happy for her, and have no doubt she will enjoy a personal celebration of LGBT Pride with a room full of them. It will be a very inexpensive party.