Roy Andrew Tomko is a Jersey boy through and through. Having come out at 18, Roy is an openly gay professional psychic and medium who has been communicating with the departed since he was four years old. His client list includes a Rolodex of celebrity names. Out In Jersey caught up with Roy to discuss all things paranormal.
Where did you grow up and when did you discover you had this gift?
Roy Tomko: I grew up in Bergen County. I realized I had the gift at approximately four years old. Spirit introduced themselves to me as imaginary friends. My parents thought it was just my imagination taking effect. As I got older it became evident there was much more going on. For example, the spirit of an older man would walk around my childhood home quite often. Ultimately, we came to realize it was the deceased spirit of a man previously connected to the property and town. He is still there. I see him all the time whenever I visit my parents.
As you got older how did it increase?
RT: I have noticed spirit will definitely change the ways in which they make themselves known to you, especially if you are a medium and/or can communicate with the afterlife. As I got older, particularly in high school, I would give my family and friends detailed advice whenever asked. Initially, I did not realize at the time I was actually downloading information psychically from the other side, and giving predictions. I was providing feedback based on what I was intuitively feeling and not so much my own opinions. When I noticed a lot of advice I gave began to manifest in the lives of others, I knew there was something deeper going on.
How does spirit present themselves to you?
RT: Every medium perceives and works with spirit differently. Today, it is more of a knowing “feeling” and is not as visual. I just know they are around, I feel their energy, I know what they are telling me clearly. Also, at times they will switch up how they communicate. For example, at times I receive a very specific scent, and once I describe it to who I am reading they tell me how it is relevant.
At what point did you decide you wanted to make this a career?
RT: In high school, I noticed how spirit would come and go. In turn, I began to realize it depended what was going on in my life. In school, especially grammar school, I was extremely bullied. Honestly, it was really difficult growing up. Thus, spirit would step away, give me time to be a child, learn, move forward, do my human experience, and come back in. This back and forth took place into adulthood, in college, and after I graduated with my degree. I only started doing this professionally eight years ago and it has been consistent since then. In the beginning, I was working with different mediums, engaging in psychic circles, and offering readings pro-bono as an internship of sorts to hone my craft.
Having had the gift since you were four, and having gotten immersed in it well before you began to utilize it professionally, what has been your biggest learning lesson?
RT: In order to help people, you need to be in a really secure place yourself, where you genuinely feel healed, emotionally balanced, and having gotten some life experience. I know people who started this work in their teens, 20s, 30s, to 60s following a medical issue. There is no specific timeline or regulations. It boils down to when spirit calls on you and determines you are ready to step into the power. It helped me taking this on as a career later in life because I already had experienced so much personally and professionally. It allowed me to better understand and provide for others.
Today, your client list has grown extensively, and you are now reading a wide array of celebrities. I find this to be a testament to your skills. Can you mention celebrities who you have read?
RT: Kristen Doute of Vanderpump Rules and The Valley, Fredrik Eklund of Million Dollar Listing, Margaret Josephs of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, comedian Anjelah Johnson, Sasha Colby of RuPaul’s Drag Race (S15 winner), Kylie Sonique of Drag Race All Stars (S6 winner), Kariselle of Sexy Beasts and Perfect Match, Dash Katz of Squid Game, Derynn Paige of Double Shot at Love and Ex on the Beach, and Lauren Chamblin of Love Is Blind and Perfect Match. There are additional public figures; however, I can’t disclose those publicly.
I have come to find there are a plethora of charlatans within the paranormal field, particularly when it comes to psychics and mediums. There are many who simply read books and think they can manipulate others to believe they are a psychic/medium. You also have people who genuinely, and scarily, think they are one. Does it frustrate you as a professional to see so many people giving the field a bad name?
RT: It is frustrating because it makes me feel I always have to prove something to make up for these people who have created the preconceived notions. I feel every career does have those who are doing a disservice to their fields. At the same time, it is all about energy. For example, you go to a hairdresser, they do a horrible job, so now you have to go through a trial and error period to find a solid one. This is common within the paranormal field too.
It all depends on what you are looking for. The right thing to do is, if you are not connecting with someone, to cut the reading short and refund the money. Fortunately, I have been successful in being able to connect and read everyone I have encountered. At the end of the day, there are a lot of different dichotomies to navigate within this field. Building trust is hard. This is why I enjoy connecting with celebrities because, since most of their lives are public, I am able to pick up on things no one knows about which in turn confirms to them I am the real deal.
Outside of the charlatans, what is the most challenging aspect of being a psychic medium?
RT: I am a medium. I am here conveying messages between the spiritual realm and our realm. Sometimes in the moment a client may not fully grasp the message only to later email me explaining how it makes sense. Also, sometimes predictions don’t happen within the relevant time frame discussed during the reading, and what people don’t realize in relation to this is how free will plays a pivotal role in our lives. Hence, people can receive a reading, then decide to make such a drastic off-the-cuff move, which changes the trajectory of the reading. Now, you could have pushed your timeline out for later or expedited it to make the predictions happen sooner.
What does the rest of the year hold for you?
RT: People can book a reading by going to my website. In October I will be having a gallery reading in Bergen County. The location is still to be determined. Follow me on Instagram for updates on future events as dates will be added.
