Anytime I hear that families have disowned their loved ones for being queer, usually their children, I cannot understand how they can be so hateful to their own.
I recently watched a documentary on Luther Vandross, who was supposedly gay and living his life in the closet. Disclaimer: I do not know Luther and have never heard him say he was gay. But close friends of Vandross have previously said that he was. We will never know, because unfortunately he died in 2005 at the age of 54 after suffering a debilitating stroke two years before.
While on Oprah, an audience member asked Vandross what was his favorite song that he wrote. Vandross said the song “Any Love” because it’s “the only real autobiographical song” he’d ever written.
In the 1988 ballad, he sings, “I speak to myself sometimes, and I say ‘Oh my / In a lot of ways you’re a lucky guy / And, oh, now all you need is a chance to try / Any love’ / In my heart there’s a need to shout / Dyin’, screamin’, cryin’ let me out / Are all those feelings that want to touch / Any love?”
If you are living in the closet, that is your choice; we do not judge you. Coming out has its own set of problems, and everyone has their own coming-out process and story. In this issue an article titled “Michael Miguel: A Star on the Rise” tells us about his coming out, and how being a former Jehovah’s Witness affected him.
Thinking about people living a life in the closet makes me sad, and that’s why I do what I do for Out In Jersey magazine. I know that’s why Toby Grace, editor emeritus, and Peter Frycki, the publisher, started this magazine. When discussing the possible startup, Toby said to Peter, “If not us, then who?” That comment hits close to home, because if not all of us, then who?
Like Miguel, there are so many people who need support and have a hard time finding it or have families that are not supportive. Luckily Michael had a friend who stood by him in the time that he needed a friend the most.
I find myself writing this editorial on the day that our esteemed editor Toby passed away in 2019.
If you are seeking support, we are here for you. If you are a writer and would like to be a contributor, please feel free to contact me at Editor@OutInJersey.net or you can check out The Coming Out Handbook on The Trevor Project website, TheTrevorProject.org.
