As the recently appointed acting Executive Director of Garden State Equality, New Jersey’s largest LGBTQ rights organization, I know that we find ourselves in a place of challenge and humility. I also know that trust in leadership is an issue that is not only at the top of my mind, but an urgent priority in this very challenging time for our community.
Garden State Equality is, right now, an organization in the midst of a difficult transition, following a personal crisis made public that has impacted our reputation and standing. There is no getting around this, but we must get through it, not only for the sake of our organization but for the communities we serve.
Every organization has history and GSE is no exception. We do not ask you to forget it. We ask only that you believe it does not have to be our future.
To offer a metaphor, I ask you to think of the family member you dread seeing at the holidays. The aunt who asks about the partner you never had, or the one who gets your pronouns wrong, time and time again. We all have a family member who simply refuses to learn, but we are NOT that family member. While Garden State Equality has caused harm, we have also done much good, sometimes in the same breath, and sometimes with the same hands. Yet, we hold both truths. And we know that for our communities to be successful, there must be repair.
In our trainings, we ask people to say ouch before they educate. We ask that what is said here stays here, but what is learned here should travel far and wide. What we have learned is this: that in this moment, when rights are being stripped away, when families are being torn apart, when our trans youth are on the brink of losing their full humanity, we cannot afford to fight each other. We cannot afford the luxury of turning each other away or turning on each other.
This is the moment. It is not coming. It is here.
That is why we pivoted from our annual Equality at Work to putting on something much more timely and poignant: Rooted in Equality. The word rooted matters. Roots hold. Roots connect. Roots intertwine. Roots survive the storm because they are bound to something greater than any one branch. We cannot be uprooted if we refuse to let go of each other.
As I have been thrust into this position, with poor soil and little water, I am turning toward the sunlight. In this moment, I am extending this olive branch with open hands and an open record. I am willing to hold the history of Garden State Equality accountable, while vowing not to make the same mistakes. I am willing to listen, and to do the work, because I cannot ensure we grow without knowing what stunted our growth in the past. This is not to save Garden State Equality, but to make sure our community never falls.
When I joined a national board of statewide organizations three years ago, my vision was always for Garden State Equality to be a support to the many important organizations doing this work on the ground. Support looks like many different things to many of you, and I want to learn what it looks like for each of your organizations, and each of your communities. That conversation starts now, if you’ll have it.
All I ask of you is to take a moment and think about the community you dream of, one where there is liberation and safety. One where we are all respected and celebrated. It wasn’t exclusionary. It wasn’t without mistakes. It was whole, authentic, and it was for everyone.
Garden State Equality’s past is not its future. As the current leader of a large and diverse team that includes, among others, thirteen of your community members, friends, and colleagues, I ask you to see who we are, and not the reputation that follows us. Please remember: Bayard Rustin was outcast from the very movement he helped build, and for what? Wasted time. Time we did not have then, and time we cannot afford now. History has always shown us that we need every seat at the table.
This is not about helping Garden State Equality up. It is about making sure our community never falls. For us, it is a commitment to do better — together.
