The darkest day: ‘I don’t know how to get past this’


I check my phone at 3 am and I see that he has won. I struggle to go back to sleep but I wind up checking it again and see that the Canadian immigration web site has crashed. I wish I could afford to move but even if I could I have a teenage daughter here.

I’ve never woke up from an election and felt the way I do now, not even when Reagan was elected — and he was responsible for me losing some of my student loans.

I walked around in a dark fog all day trying to do my job and failing. All I could think about was what has happened.

An old college friend said “It’s a beautiful day. Open your eyes. Open the windows. We are blessed.” And I deleted her comment from my Facebook page. She must have voted for him.

All I can hope for is that he gets impeached or something else.

How is my daughter handling this? What is she thinking? I’m ashamed that she’s witnessed this. Now we’re just going backwards.

So scary that my friends who I thought I knew, I didn’t know them at all. And my childhood and college friends — same thing. It’s like we’re all at a big masquerade party and you don’t know who you’re talking to. But that’s how this whole election has been.

You start talking to someone and you think you can trust them then they quickly remove their mask and you want to scream – “Oh, God! You’re one of those people.” And you know you can never have a conversation with them again.

Someone from my childhood said I could talk to her about my depression from the election but I know she voted for him. So, that’s not going to work.

I don’t know how to get past this. This is the most terrible thing that could happen to our country.

I have lots of health problems and I live in fear of what’s going to happen to me. And I’m not the only one. My daughter has a health condition, too.

There are many ways a president can screw with my life. And yet I heard a talk show guest tonight say it wasn’t true. Well, not true for him.

But, see, that’s the problem. Some of these voters didn’t put themselves in our shoes so they’re not worried. What’s going to happen when “that thing” happens to them and they can’t get help?

Because I used to be healthy, too. And I wasn’t worried either.

Reader Terri Rimmer had this published earlier this week at: