Holiday Gifts

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Casting Aspersions

I do not collect Norman Rockwell plates, inexpensive crystal candleholders, copies of the cheaper editions of books about Princess Diana, or coffee mugs with clever sayings on them. These facts cannot be too widely known. Now that the Christmas Season is hard upon us and the frantic grab for gifts is in full gear (something, anything to put in a box and wrap!), serious lapses in taste are bound to occur.

In the spirit of public service, we here present a thumbnail guide that can be torn out and mailed anonymously to taste challenged, straight friends and relatives in the hope of preventing the post-Christmas flood of donations to Goodwill.

No gay boy in good standing has anything—anything at all—with Norman Rockwell pictures on it.